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“I found out that the retreat can reveal a lot of personal insight”
How long have you been interested in psychedelics?
Not for very long… As a matter of fact, I always thought they were a gateway to addiction and all the problems that come with it. That’s why I’d never tried any, until a few weeks ago.
I wasn’t interested in psychedelics until I met Arnaud (founder of Tangerine Retreat) and he shared his experience. A week later, I started reading a book about them and looking to learn more about psilocybin retreats.
I studied various articles, YouTube videos, Wikipedia pages, and books about the substance, and even talked to some people who’d tried it. I found out that it’s not harmful to your health and that it can reveal a lot of personal insight and bring about positive changes in your life.
Have you ever been treated for anxiety or symptoms of depression?
I’ve never been treated for anxiety, but I have occasionally felt powerless, like a prisoner, in certain situations. I always blamed these emotions on my difficult upbringing or the people around me, but the idea with psilocybin was to explore other potential causes.
Did you use psilocybin for the first time in order to explore yourself further?
Like many people, perhaps, I hoped it would help me find the answers deep within and help me correct things that were wrong with me. I really wanted to get some insight and guidance on how to improve my life and understand what’s important to me and what’s not.
“It reassured me to see that he was safe and healthy after his psychedelic trip”
What encouraged you to take the leap and try a psychedelic retreat?
I spent some time with Arnaud and he shared his experience and feelings. He’d just come back from a retreat in the Netherlands. It reassured me to see that he was safe and healthy and that it wasn’t a scam.
The more I listened to Arnaud, the more his vision of how we could all work on ourselves made sense to me! Overall, I shared his view on how childhood trauma affects us as adults and how we repress some subconscious emotions because of stress and anxiety. Our conversation made me feel that a retreat could be a step in the right direction for me.
What was your retreat experience like?
Really positive! It wasn’t at all what I was expecting, but the main thing I got out of it was to start identifying and acknowledging what happens in my life. I feel like I have a better grasp on things around me and that I have the power to deal with them.
Has your anxiety or depression got better since the retreat?
Honestly, yes! I definitely feel less anxiety in my life and more acceptance. I, who was afraid of having a bad trip – or whatever – it was really very different.
People often say that a psychedelic retreat is one of the defining moments of their lives. What do you think about that?
I think it’s undoubtedly a life-changing experience. I would totally recommend it to other people! Until I went on the retreat, I’d never tried anything that gave me such an energy boost or sense of self-understanding.
“Psilocybin is like a wise old man in the middle of a forest”
Has taking psilocybin changed your relationship with others?
Yes, my relationships have improved. Since I got back three weeks ago, I feel like I enjoy spending time with other people more than before. Just being around other people, without even talking to them, brings me a real sense of wellbeing. Before, I would stress about them judging me, but now I don’t have that fear and it feels easier to be myself around them.
Do you think you would take it again?
I don’t think I need to, but who knows? I see psilocybin as meeting with a wise old man in the middle of a forest. You can have wonderful conversations with him, he’s always got the answer to your questions, and you’ll probably go back and speak to him again one day.
At the same time, you shouldn’t see him too often, as you need time to digest his teachings and think of new things to ask him. For me, microdosing might be a middle-ground solution, while waiting to see.
By Tangerine Retreat's Team.
